Jacob and Jessica were playing today after Jessica got home from school, and Jacob came to me (Tami) just being cute. I asked him, "Jacob, are you happy to have Jessica home?" His response was, "No, I am not." I just thought it was funny the way he said it so matter of fact, saying each word clearly even--no contractions, full sentence. I teased him because I knew he really was enjoying her being home, and he laughed. Anyway, I just thought it was cute and thought I'd share.
I've been really working on trying to use a softer voice with Jacob ALWAYS (or at least mostly always; there are times when it is necessary to raise your voice somewhat), which is difficult to do, but I think it really is helping slowly but surely to get him to not yell and scream so much, to use his words, and to talk more. It may not be too noticeable to others yet, but I can see a gradual difference. He's not quite as quick to yell back at me when I tell him no or not to do something as what he used to be. He's also getting better about asking nicely for things that he wants instead of yelling or commanding me to get it. (Granted, this all depends upon the circumstances; he still throws plenty of tantrums.) Point is, he's improving. I'll make a sweet little angel out of him yet, even if it's the last thing I do. ;-) Hehehe. (I hope it's not the last thing I do, though, because I don't plan on dying anytime soon, and I hope it doesn't take me that long! Nor do I want him to literally be an angel.)
I think the better he gets at communicating and the more he feels like I am taking the time to listen, the harder he tries to please and to communicate properly. Sorry, I'm kind of rambling, but I just felt like sharing that as hard as it to be patient and loving and to keep my cool sometimes, it really is worth it because that's really what they need.
That actually just reminded me of something cute Jessica said the other day that got me thinking. I don't remember for sure the details, but I think I was trying to brush her hair. She was having issues about it, and I was getting frustrated with her. Then she said to me, "I just need love." It kind of diffused the situation immediately when she said that because it made me stop my frustration with her, and I gave her a love, which made her feel better; then we were able to move on and get it done. The reason she said that I think is because I have made comments to that effect before regarding her or Jacob that they just needed love in a particular situation. I guess she picked up on it, but it is true!
They just need love! :-) And don't we all?!
11 comments:
It is hard to keep your cool all the time. Diego once told me you're supposed to be kind like in the song, parents kinds and dear. That put things in perspective for me.
Hey, Marcia! Thanks for commenting. It's nice to know you've been visiting our blog. That does put things into perspective; I've actually had that thought before while singing that to my kids. I've kind of asked myself, "Do my children have parents kind and dear?" I need to make sure they do and be better about keeping that perspective. Kids have a good way of helping us remember that. :-) Tami
Talking softly really does work to quiet contention!
Sometimes when everyone is yelling at each other (usually it is worst in the car) you will hear Rob saying very quietly and slowly...'meeeellllloooow, meeeellllloooow, meeeellllloooow' and pretty soon everyone is looking at him like he is the crazy man that he is sometimes! But it works and I am working on being as crazy as he is, so I can do it too!
Hey, I'm right there with you. I really am trying to use a softer voice. I start out soft, and when they still don't listen I get gradually louder, because they just seem to hear me when I'm quiet. I'm seeing so much how my kids are a reflection of me. It's kind of scary. I wonder sometimes why they are doing something and then I myself do the same thing.
Amen! I've noticed that a lot myself. Looking at my children is sometimes a lot like looking in the mirror, and I'm not referring to physical attributes either. It's their actions and speech. Thanks for the comments, y'all!
BonBon, is that "mellow" Rob is saying? That's cool that he tries to mellow everyone out that way. It doesn't sound so crazy to me, just smart and calm. Way to go, Rob!
:-) Tami
FYI, everyone, I figured out how to distinguish between Jeremy and I on here. So this is my trial run. :-) Tami
Okay, so the problem with me doing it this way is that because it has me as being an additional author only I am unable to do anything but post entries while signed in as Tamster. It didn't seem to let me be signed in as both, but I'll have to explore. So you may see me from both names still. Oh, well. :-) Tami
Okay, I think I've got this figured out now. We'll see how it goes.
I've kind of gotten used to JerBear & Co., though. I like it. It will take some getting used to having a different name, but hopefully it will clear up any confusion as to who's doing what, though. :-)
Hi Tami. I tagged you on my blog today. Blog about 12 random Christmas things. It's fun!
Listen to your kids at that age, they are profound. When they turn about 12 or 13, right on up to about 18 or 19, its best not to listen. Then you would do anything to hug them, and they wont let you anymore. You have to still love them, but the mean things they say should never be taken to heart. They eventually grow out of it, and you can hug them agian and tell them you love them, without getting the "you're Crazy!" look.
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